Tuesday # 11: Pancake Tuesday / Keeping Love in Lent

"I am participating in the Keeping LOVE in LENT Blog Link-Up 2013, 
hosted by

Raising (& Teaching) Little Saints, Truly Rich Mom, and Arma Dei: Equipping Catholic Families. We share different ways, tips, stories, an real-life experiences that will help us focus on Lenten sacrifices, prayer and good deeds, and how to carry them out with LOVE instead of a GRUMBLE. Please scroll to the end of the post to see the list of link-up entries."

Although I was raised in a Catholic household, this is my first Lent in spirit. As a child, Lent meant no meat on Fridays, supposedly giving something nice up (not that I  ever did), and being sad (no swimming, no laughing, no telly) from 3pm Good Friday until Easter Sunday. The past year or so, I have been gradually waking up to God. (Or rather, He has been ever gently but firmly waking me from a deep deep sleep.) And as I look around me, I realize how ignorant I am of so much about being Catholic. It was only in the recent weeks that I realized that St Paul wrote most of the Letters that are part of the 2^nd Readings in the Mass, and that there are Catholic and Protestant versions of the Bible. I had asked my teacher V for advice on how to read the Bible, and he told me to pay attention to the footnotes. “What footnotes?” I asked. Hmm. Perhaps it was time to buy a grown-up Bible. I was still using my Precious Moments Children’s Bible that I had purchased when I was 16, the one with cartoon pictures instead of footnotes. (I never actually read much of it. Back then, it was an accessory for hanging out with my best friend, who had one crush after another on Korean boys from various born-again Christian churches. We spent plenty a Friday night fellowship-hopping.) In any case, despite having promised myself about two weeks ago to forgo buying any more books on amazon until April, I bought a “grown-up” Bible and a second-hand copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church. After these purchases, I will really not buy any more books on amazon until April. (Really.) I’m also trying to fast on the weekdays. I used to think that fasting was not eating at all. But our parish priest recently brought up that fasting meant 1 normal meal, and 2 small meals (together not making up a full meal) a day. Now I understand how Moses, Jesus, and the saints could fast for 40 days. (Even though I am aware that fasting is not about dieting, I can't help but think that that’s more food in a day than one gets on the Slimfast plan!) It’s doable. Or at least, that’s what I tend to think in the morning. By 5pm, I am very hungry and lightheaded, and I allow myself to have a few pieces of Darvita to tide me over to dinner (my full meal). Darvita is salted cardboard marketed as a healthy high-fiber snack cracker in Switzerland. Willingly eating Darvita should definitely count as a Lenten penance. I am also trying to be more patient with the children and raise my voice less. (This is by far the hardest part, and where I fail consistently.)

Our HGU session this week fell on Pancake Tuesday. I handed the children their Kinderofper (Children’s Offering) bags. For Lent, the children are to donate some money that they’ve earned (for instance, by doing small chores for their parents) or pocket money that they’ve saved, for helping the poor. It is true that you don’t really learn something until you have to teach it. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to talk with the kids about what Lent is all about, why the 40 days, why we give something up. Then I realized that I didn’t actually know. I had some vague idea that parts of it had to do with sharing in Jesus’ suffering, but couldn’t coherently explain these whys. My ignorance astounds me. It is the blind leading the blind. Anyway, thank goodness for answers that can be found on the Internet.

Frivolity and attempts to elicit chuckles from my readers aside, my Lenten season is about repenting for my errant ways, and cleaving ever closer to Him in love. Jesus Himself reminded me that Repentance allows for a closer and deeper love. A few weeks ago, during our holiday in India, we planned a day trip to Old Goa to visit its famous churches. On the bus ride over, a self-congratulating thought drifted into my head. “When I think of the Sorrowful Mysteries, I now only see Love.” Oh, how evolved I now am, how far I’ve come in the last while, I thought, mentally patting myself on the back. It was as if Jesus heard me, and set about to correct me, reminding me Himself that Repentance was the other side of the coin. Less than half an hour after I entertained this thought, as we exited the chapel housing St. Francis Xavier’s relics in the Cathedral of Bom Jesus, I was confronted with the most painful depiction of the Crucifixion I have ever seen. A life-sized figure of Christ is hung on the Cross, dying. He is raw red bleeding flesh, with only a few thin strips of skin that have not been torn away by the scourging. Ross left to find the others in our group. I leaned against a pillar, suddenly weak at the knees with remorse. In shame, I wanted to turn away from this sight, and yet I could not tear my eyes away. What monstrosities did we do when Pure Love chose to manifest Himself as one of us. How, in our sins and in our pride, we inflicted such suffering upon Him, and how He loved us so fully nonetheless. If this is what we are capable of doing with our Free Will, I wanted none of it. It felt wrong to take a picture. The searing memory of this scene in my mind’s eye is more than enough a reminder. Ross found the rest of our group and we moved on. I said nothing to the others about this experience*.  

In reflecting upon this Lenten season, I come to realize that Free Will is a two-edged sword. With it, mankind caused Jesus’ suffering. And yet, it is also that which gives our love for Him, our return to Him, its meaning and value. For so long, I have had my back turned to God. In the next weeks, of my own Free Will, I consciously turn away from the distractions of the world, set my heart towards Him, and follow His steps on the Way home that He so lovingly cleared for all of us.  

*This experience is one of many I've had this past year that convince me that God is a Personal God who intervenes in our daily lives, who knows our thoughts and our hearts, and who hears and answers our prayers!

my (wintry) way home

Check out the Lent reflections participating in the Keep LOVE in LENT Blog Link-Up 2013! We'll be sharing different ways, tips, stories, and real-life experiences that will help us focus on Lenten sacrifices, prayer and good deeps, and how to carry them out with LOVE instead of a GRUMBLE.

Discover new Catholic Blogs to follow!

Equipping CatholicFamilies: Keep LOVE in LENT

Call Her Happy:40 Simple Lenten Activities for Kids

Lenten Love: Little Acts of Love

Grow the Roses: Keep Love in Lent

Family At The Foot Of The Cross: Loving Service

Catholic Homeschooling Joy: A Lenten Activity

JOY:Keep the Love in Lent

Twenty Tuesday Afternoons: Tuesday # 11: Pancake Tuesday / Keeping Love in Lent

Campfires and Cleats: Why a Failing Lent Really Isn't

Harrington Harmonies: Make a Lenten Holy Hour

A Mommy of Three:Good Deeds for Lent

Loving the Semi Country Life: Lent:special time to reflect and keep the love in lent

Written By the Finger of God: A 7 Step Lenten Plan

Mommy Bares All: Giving Up and Making Space for Love this Lent

The Irish Lassie Shop: Seek God Everywhere

Hand-Maid with Love: Living Lent, Loving Lent

Words On Heaven: IN THE DESERT FOR 40 DAYS

On The Way Home: Keeping LOVE in Lent

Homeschooling with Joy: Keep Love in Lent

Mountain Grace: Keep Love in Lent

Eyes On Heaven: I am Choosing to Live

Joy Alive in Our Hearts:"God's Love at Work"

Life of Fortunate Chances: Love is Fun: Keeping Love in Lent

Fifth of Five: Keep the LOVE in Lent

I Blog Jesus: for Praying our Loud!

Overflow: Loving Lent with Little Ones

This Cross I Embrace: Keep LOVE In Lent

Sole Searching Mamma: 15 Ways to Experience a More Meaningful Lent

Catholic All Year: My Biggest Lent Fails and How I Learned Mortification...

Four Little Ones: Keeping Love in Lent

Gaels Crafty Treasures Keeping Love in Lent

Bear Wrongs Patiently: Lent for the Scrupulous

Rosary Mom: Keeping Love in Lent

LoveLetters 7.10: Teacups {Keeping the Love in Lent}

Little Saints in the Making: Keep Love in Lent

Blessed with Full Hands: Keeping love in Lent- Praise Him

Normal Chaos: Our Own Personalized Lenten Journey

These Little Blessings: Gifting Love this Lent

The Cajun Catholic: The our Father; a lenten reflection

Truly Rich Mom: Keeping Love in Lent... Even When It Is Difficult

GATHERING GRACES:Keeping LOVE in LENT

SaIsa Pang Sulyap - Fullness Of His Love

LiturgicalTime: Keeping Love in Lent - Finding Balance

Grace Loves Iggy: love in lent

Sacred Oysters: Empty (Keeping LOVE in LENT)

Tercets:Make Heart Rosary Decades to Pray for Others

The Diary of a Sower: Our Lenten Prayer Tree

A Living Garden -- Giving for Others with Love: Keeping LOVE in LENT

Homegrown Catholics: Motivated by my childrens' activities {Lent}

MyBroken Fiat: Keeping Love in Lent... Barely

Journey to Wisdom: Keeping Love in Lent: Bands of Love

Softening My Heart: An Anniversary Lesson duringLent

This post also links to RAnn's Sunday Snippets. Thanks again for hosting, RAnn!

Tuesday # 9: “Friede machen” (making peace with one another) / in Noah’s shoes / the real secret

This post links to RAnn's Sunday Snippets. Thanks again for hosting, RAnn!

Noah's Ark Floating, Dove With Olive Branch
by Illustrator of the Speculum Humanae Salvationsis
from http://biblicalgenealogy.kavonrueter.com/Pictures-Noah.htm

For this week’s lesson, our HGU curriculum recommended a story about a Goose and a Goat. I didn’t quite understand it, so I told the kids about Noah and the Ark instead. Even after our Tuesday afternoon session, the story stayed with me. I tried to imagine what it was like to be in Noah’s shoes when God first gave him His instructions. “Could You say that again, please, God? I didn’t quite get it… You want me to build a big boat?” “Gopherwood lined with pitch, You said? 300 cubits long, 40.. oh sorry, I didn’t hear that right. Did You say 40 or 50? Alright, 50 cubits wide, 30 cubits high… Two of each animal and enough food…slow down, please, I’m writing this down…” I wonder, did God give Noah these instructions in one psychedelic session all at once, or did His instructions trickle through over weeks or months or years? Did Noah decide to obey right away, or did he ponder about whether it made sense or not? Did he from the start think, “These are divine instructions from God”, or was it more like “Are those mushrooms we roasted for supper doing funny things to my brain?” Did God communicate with His people differently in days? I just think of my daily life, and how discerning the Will of God is not always so easy.  (Perhaps God was indeed more ostentatious back then, going about in burning bushes and talking clouds and such.) I can imagine the obstacles Noah faced. It is one step for Noah to decide that, yes, God is telling me to build a floating zoo. It is another to have to start telling people about it. When Noah tells his wife about what he thinks he heard from God, is she immediately in on the plan, or does she bring a hand to his brow to check for a fever, “Are you well, Noah? That sounds absolutely crazy.” That’s certainly what the neighbors said, when Noah goes about telling them to mend their ways or face God’s wrathful flood. This whole enterprise would’ve made him the laughing stock of the region. Perhaps he became a bit of a tourist attraction. “What shall we do this weekend?” asks a bored shepherd. “I heard that there is a crazy old dude building an enormous boat on the other side of the forest,” says his friend. “A boat? That’s pretty mental. Where’s he going to use it? We’re tens of parasangs away from any water…” “I hear his three sons are going around collecting animals to put in the boat. What a bunch of lunatics. Let’s check it out and have a laugh…” (No, I didn’t actually share these particular musings on Noah with the children.)

What struck me most was that Noah took around 60 or 70 years to build the Ark. That’s a really long time of striving towards a goal that seems preposterous and insane to everyone else, a really long time of facing mocking, ridicule, and disdain from the people around him. What stellar example of a steady, sustained faith, backed up with persistence and action!

And see how abundantly God rewards him in the end. Because of his faith and obedience, God makes a covenant with Noah and his descendants, that He would never send such a flood again. Lucky us! 

In a previous post, I had alluded to a particular afternoon that had gone badly with the class, and was wondering where I had gone wrong. Anyway, just to let you know, I eventually figured it out. I had allowed all that worrying and fretting about the unruly behavior to steal my joy. I fell into the trap of thinking that it was something completely under my control. That is, if I just acquired the “secret” combination of props (scouring the city like a madwoman in search of a Tibetan singing bowl, some yoga breathing exercises, mandalas), I could solve my “problem”. What I forgot was that, from the beginning, this task was always bigger than me. (What was I thinking when I agreed to teach 10 first grade kids in German?) However, from the beginning, He had promised that He would bridge the gap between what I could do and what needed to be done with His Grace. Except, His Grace cannot flow into a situation when I don’t offer it up to Him first. Offering something up to Him is like making room for Him to stand beside and help me. And in my “busyness”, that’s the crucial step I had forgotten.   

So, before this week’s lesson, I spent some time in my prayer room (closet is more accurate), offering up the afternoon to Him. I am but His humble servant. I offer my hands and my feet, my voice and time, all my being, for Him to use. When I offer my efforts up to Him, my joy returns. In His eyes, it is the act of offering it up that counts, not the result itself, since the result comes from Him anyway. Offering our actions up to Him is a form of surrendering to His will.

Surrendering is not the same as giving up and losing hope. I’m still doing all I can on the practical side of things, trying to improve how the weekly catechism afternoon goes. Next week, I’ll bring in some music, perhaps from St. Hildegard of Bingen. Perhaps I’ll invite the parents of the unruly kids to help out, to have an extra adult in the room to keep order. I’ll continue to do my best with the practical stuff. When I “finish” it off (like the pitch that keeps the Ark waterproof) with my “secret” ingredient of offering it up to God, I know I can handle whatever comes joyfully. Whatever happens, (and by now, I’m no longer just thinking of the challenge of keeping unruly kids to calm down, but all the other types of challenges, large and small, that we encounter in our daily lives), I know that "it's all good” (to be said home-boy style). In St Paul’s words, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13). Now, if only I can remember that the next time I find myself in a bind!

Tuesday # 8: "Freude erläbe" (experiencing joy) / mandalas / God in drag

This post links to RAnn's Sunday Snippets. Thanks again for hosting, RAnn!

St Hildegard mandala
(from http://sfmosaic.wordpress.com/2010/11/20/hildegard-von-bingen/)

Our story for this week was “Die Zauberkugel” by Arcadio Lobato. Manolo finds a magic crystal ball (Zauberkugel) that grants whoever holds it one wish. Before he can make his wish, the townspeople get a hold of the ball and wish for jewels, castles, gold, etc. Before long, the once-happy, peaceful town is rife with envy and ill will. Eventually, the townspeople lament about how they wish things could be as they were before, when they lived simple but happy lives. Manolo uses his wish to bring things back to how they were before.

I have a somewhat (who am I kidding, very) obsessive personality. The previous week, I had spent a lot of time obsessing about how rowdy the children are in my class, to the point that I was dreading our Tuesday afternoon catechism session. In any case, I can attest that the Law of Attraction works. True to form, it turned out to be a pretty stressful afternoon.  I won’t bother recounting the many things that didn’t go well, as I’m taking to heart Joel Osteen’s advice this week to “Remember the Good”. I will choose to remember the following: how the children are waiting for me at the door of the school house, smiling and happy, and carry my bags up for me; how they enjoy our few minutes of yoga; how on-the-ball Cedric was in recounting the moral of our story; how they all whooped for joy when I told them we were making a crystal ball for them to take home (plexiglass ornament balls, glitter, glue, sequins); how glitter makes everything better; and finally, even if I had my hands full trying to abort the game of tag started by my three naughty boys, how happy I was to see the seven other children diligently coloring their worksheets. Oh, and how I love my new Tibetan singing bowl! I am thinking of starting a collection.

Last Sunday, I took Maeve and Olive to Sunday school (on offer roughly once a month in our parish, normal for Switzerland). I peeked into the room. Lo and behold were 30 children, seated at a very long table, coloring quietly. There were two teachers, one at the door, welcoming arriving children, and another standing by the table. How on earth could they pull off 30 kids contemplatively coloring, with no one shouting, swinging from the rafters, or playing tag? What’s their secret? When I pick the girls up after Mass, they each have a chocolate muffin, a coloring sheet about the Wedding at Canaan, and a mandala. I am guessing that, whatever the secret is, it’s not the chocolate muffin. Both girls want to continue working on the mandalas at home. I decide that, for the catechism class next week, I’ll bring mandalas in for the kids to color while we wait for everyone to arrive. When I start searching about them online, I am surprised to find that, aside from being part of various religious traditions, mandalas are also used as meditation and therapy tools for adults as well as children. (Start from the inside going out to tap hidden energies, and from the outside going in for meditation and centering.) I jump the gun too quickly, and buy three mandala books on amazon ("Christian Mandalas" by Klaus Holitzka, "Mandalas from Around the World" by Marion Küstenmacher, and "Mandalas Stained Glass Coloring Book" by Marty Noble). Later, I find that there are hundreds of beautiful designs online for free and that St Hildegard of Bingen illustrated her visions in mandala form. (I have an amazon habit that is bordering on addiction. During a stressful week, I can find myself buying 3 to 5 books, seeking solace from second hand sellers on the amazon marketplace. In any case, following my premature amazon mandala purchases, I resolve not to buy any more books until Marian Keyes’ latest book, “The Mystery of Mercy Close” comes out in paperback in April. Don’t know if I can make it till then. It is a long time till April. My fingers were twitching while reading kkollwitz’s recent book review.) I am looking for a complex, intricate mandala design with Mateo, the most boisterous of my lot, in mind. With my Tibetan singing bowl, yoga, and mandalas, he is going to be a calm, grounded, peaceful kid, coloring meditatively at the table by the time Tuesday # 20 rolls around. Just kidding. Of course, ultimately, I accept that Mateo is "an expression of God" just the way he is. (Thank you, Ram Dass.) After all, as the 14^th century Persian poet-mystic Hafiz puts it, we’re all "God in drag". (Thank you, Hafiz, for writing that phrase centuries ago. Thank you, Chuck Lorre, for using the quote in Vanity Card # 400 on a recent episode of The Big Bang Theory and bringing it to my attention.) 

Sunday Snippets-- a Catholic Carnival

Thanks again to RAnn at This and That and the Other Thing for hosting Sunday Snippets.

This week, I wrote about

Goa

Tuesday # 7: "Träge hälfe" / Tibetan singing bowls / decisions

If you end up reading Tuesday # 7, just to let you know I found my Tibetan singing bowl on Saturday : )

Have a great week, everyone, and I'm looking forward to hearing what you've all been up to!

Goa

I should write about our recent trip to India before the colors fade and I start to forget. What can I remember: Bookstores alive and well. People reading books, not tablets, in the corners. Squeezing 7 people (bottom layer of 2 adults + Luke, top layer of Maeve, Olive, and 2 cousins) into a rickshaw in Mumbai to go to the cinema. Watching Life of Pi in 3-D. The suitcase with Christmas presents going AWOL for 2 days. 16 hours of self-induced semi-hibernation on the bus ride to Goa to cope with car sickness. Very tall and stately trees. Happily eating paneer every day for 12 days (on my own volition). Milk coffee and porridge at the Tibetan Café. Nursing masala chai and avocado lassi at Sunitas slowly enough to read (but not reply to) my emails on my phone with their free WiFi. The vast amounts of time one finds in a day when you don't have easy access to the internet. The little Hindi and Christian shrines scattered all about.

 Needing a motorbike to get beyond Vagator. Having no interest in learning to ride one. Riding behind Ross with the girls (one girl at a time) through the Goan countryside (all over India, if you ask Olive). Cows on the beach. Cows on the road. A baby cow stealing a mango from my beach bag. The gigantic Banyan tree, so majestic that surely there were legends about it. (It’s more likely people just got high there, according to Ross.) How black the soles of the kids’ feet were when they fell asleep. Mornings reading on sunbeds at the beach. The toxic, over-chlorinated pool where the kids splashed away for hours in the afternoon. Wishing I knew more about Hindu mythology. The Rainbow Secondhand Bookshop in Chapora. St. Francis Xavier’s remains in the Basilica of Bom Jesus in Old Goa. The face of Shiva carved on a rock on the beach. Wanting to buy Ross a Nataraja for Christmas but not finding one. Buying Ross Rabindranath Tagore’s collected works for Christmas and wondering whether he’ll ever read it. Hating haggling for prices. Trying to find the midnight Mass on Christmas Eve and getting lost. The colors and scents of the Wednesday Anjuna Market. Ross and I being accosted by ear-cleaners. Both of us utterly convinced that we could hear so much better afterwards! The 23-year old Delhi rape victim succumbing to her injuries on 28 December. The editorials and TV news coverage of this case. Falling asleep while reading random passages from the Bible (placed by the Gideons) most nights, and the vivid dreams they gave me. How two and a half weeks can be so long and so short at the same time. Watching the countryside zoom past on the train from Goa back to Mumbai. Wishing I had more than my iPhone camera to take pictures with. The young men who graciously swapped seats so that all 14 of our group could sit together. Wondering where my Indian sister-in-law finds the energy and patience to take care of everyone all the time. The train breaking down in the middle of nowhere and the panic about missing our flights home. Ross so desperate to get his mind off our flights that he takes the book I’m in the middle of (William Darymple's book "Nine Lives: In Search of the Sacred in Modern India") and starts reading. Ross liking a book I like (a first). Hundreds of homeless people sleeping in the train station. Making it to the airport by the skin of our teeth. How clean, orderly, and sterile Zürich seems after the exotic chaos of India.

Maeve and cow on the beach

St Francis Xavier

best seat in the house (wonderful!)

 

Sunday Snippets -- A Catholic Carnival

First week back from our two-week holiday in Goa, and a very light blogging week. There are posts swimming in my head, but they have yet to make it to paper (or the computer). Hopefully next week. In the meantime, here is the post I managed to do this week on

Tuesday # 6: "Danke säge" / balloons on steroids

Have a great week, everyone! I'm looking forward to reading what y'all have been up to.

Thanks again to RAnn at This That and the Other Thing for hosting Sunday Snippets.

Tuesday # 6: "Danke säge" / balloons on steroids

We got back to Zürich from our Goa trip on Saturday afternoon, and got right back into the swing of things. Kids were back at school on Monday. With jet lag working in the right direction, they were getting up bright as buttons at 5am. This week’s Unti session was very sweet. The theme was “Danke sagen” (saying “Thank you”). We had a full schedule: we were to discuss what we are/should be thankful for, read a short story about a boy whose prayer sent by balloon gets answered, write “Thank You” letters to the parents that I would mail, and write a “Thank You” letter to God send via red helium balloon. The parish ordered the balloons and instructed us to pick them up the morning of our class at a local craft shop. At the shop, I asked for two balloons, as I had in mind that these were like birthday party balloons (a little bit bigger than an adult’s head), and perhaps that we might need two to get God’s letter aloft. The lady taking my order was gone for about ten minutes, and came back with two enormous balloons. (Balloons on steroids. Four of these would get Olive flying!) The kids seemed to have enjoyed the session. At some point, I told them that we would be reading a “sehr kurz” (very short) story. They started jumping up and down in excitement. “You like the shorter stories that much better than the others?” I ask. (Story-telling is my weak point, as I am not comfortable paraphrasing German and tend to read verbatim from the book. I know that they tend to get bored quickly with the stories.)  Zoe ignores that question and asks, “What kind of Zirkus (circus) are we doing?” Oh. Sehr kurz / Zirkus, I see where the confusion comes from. It is a bit of a let-down for them that there would be no circus, but they cheer up considerably when we go out to launch the balloon with the letter to God. I really wish I had my camera. Instead, I only have the picture in my mind’s eye, of them standing shoulder-to-shoulder cheering as the balloon shoots up into the unusually clear January afternoon sky.